Love it or hate it, internet dating is here to stay!

This seven-week period between Christmas and Valentine’s day is reported to be the busiest time for on line dating sites internationally, and sees a 30% increase in sign ups, 10% leave within 30 days of signing up- mostly women!

Survey results confirm that the number one complaint about dating sites is that people are dishonest, lie about their age, marital status, career, even their name. If you’ve tried it, you won’t be shocked to know that an estimated 85% of on line dating profiles aren’t accurate.

You might be one of the rare lucky ones who hasn’t experienced meeting your date in person for the first time; to find that compared to the photo you have been chatting to, they’re a few years older, four inches shorter, and 10 pounds heavier….and wait not even single!

The Statistic brain research institute found that Men lie most about; age, height, income and women lie most about; weight, physical build, age. I described myself athletic in a dating profile once, because I liked the sound of it, compared to the other limited options. It wasn’t a complete lie. I was athletic at school, and planned to take up sports again- I was just taking a 10-year sabbatical from my athleticism.
It’s too easy for people to create the best version of themselves on line. Their alter ego is reborn and takes over!

Despite these obvious facts, it’s almost a two billion dollar industry worldwide, millions are using on line dating sites and thousands are subscribed to dating sites in Cyprus; even though they don’t have the best reputation.

It’s estimated that 52% of singles are too busy to meet new people, which explains on line popularity. The convenience of searching profiles from the comfort of your home is appealing and safe-ish. It can and has worked for couples. I introduced my friend to e-harmony and she’s now enjoying unmarried bliss with a hunky Australian. The first match asked her for money after the first date, the second wasn’t actually single; she got lucky with the third. I’ve also had great dates in the UK through e-harmony and match.com which have stricter required information to use it , unlike the sites here. She is one of the 20% of couples that met on line and are in a committed relationship (US research results. Local results are hard to find).

On line dating and dating, in general, requires patience, caution, resilience, time, and not fearing rejection.  Many factors that affect online dating success aren’t within your control. These include time of year, the ratio of men to women or who’s online when you are (competition included). Your presentation, though, is in your control. The trouble is many don’t present themselves in their best light for instance using bad photos amongst other reasons.

There can be resistance to revealing much information on a public dating site that anyone can sign up to for free. It’s ironic that in a security-obsessed world people are happy to reveal their photos and most personal desires publically on sites that are free.  The majority of people aren’t naturally photogenic either, even good quality photos don’t truly capture someone’s best features, warmth and presence, their energy, and body language all of which counts towards attractiveness. Even if they do and have an amazing profile; profiles are lost in the masses of internet dating profiles and overlooked.

All profiles start to blend together, and people start to look like products for manic profile surfers and winkers. How can you begin to find a good person when all start looking the same?

The important factors which would normally attract one person to another are missing. You have a summary of their photo, hobbies, interests, relationship priorities but there is no human element.  Limited words don’t reveal a person.

You might choose not to chat to, or date someone based on their on line profile;  but whose presence, charisma, personality, energy, attractiveness and overall essence in the flesh would definitely make you want to date them and be in a relationship with them. These people maybe the “average” nice looking people whose profiles will  be skipped over because unrealistic expectations of the definition of beautiful and handsome takeover.  Ladies tend to be more flexible about looks.

Some users are looking for celebrity look-alikes even though they have never dated anyone resembling their ideal before. They also lose perspective that their “type” might not find them attractive…Some people will also skip over anyone’s profile that resembles an ex in any way or has the same name. I came across this recently with two potential matches, who had the same names as each others’ ex. The responses were the most revealing. The lady was completely cool and unaffected, a clear sign there was no baggage or emotion connected to her ex. The man responded strongly and negatively about her having the same name as his ex, so a clear indication that there was a lot of healing still left to be done and not ready to move forward. And the probability of this for Cypriot names is high.

So, many on line users swipe past dozens of photos, make split second decisions, based on photos, regardless of profiles. Add to this, their long wish lists, unrealistic expectations, and an overpopulated on line marketplace… all of these factors contribute to losing perspective, and not selecting very good potential partners, based on looks alone. These factors lie beneath the frustrations that cause quality relationship minded singles to disconnect from the impersonal, unpredictable, and very public cyber dating world.

The Cure
Setting a strong Foundation. If you are serious about meeting someone, I believe in casting a wide net. You need to be clear about what you are looking for, then be pro-active, decide on your dating strategy, shift slowly out of your comfort zone, and try new things.  If you are relationship minded, using online dating, evaluate your results, and review your profile regularly. Make sure you have a flattering picture, make your profile interesting with substance, then slow it down and connect with more people that have taken time to write interesting answers.

A partner isn’t going to gravitate to you without any effort made on your part even if you are attractive and in good physical shape.  This might involve a shift in attitude, lowering your guard, knowing your strengths and working on areas about yourself which will get you the right attention.  Having awareness of your social and conversational skills with new people, your body language, expressions, how you listen, show interest in others, and how you present yourself is always important.

US Survey results recently showed that 53% of singles consider a great smile followed by personality as the most attractive features.  This isn’t captured on line.

Taking it Off Line
63 % of couples in committed relationships have been introduced by friends.
2% of men have met their partner in a bar, and 9% of women.
Couples meet through friends, at work, socialising, and a lucky few through online dating.

If the above options aren’t working, then my off-line matchmaking service is an alternative solution inspired by the fact that the majority of busy professional relationship minded Singles- predominantly women have disconnected, or would never try on line dating because of all the issues mentioned above.
Some Matchmaking agencies don’t reveal photos or even names when matching someone, to re-create the naturalness of meeting someone for the first time. I do though privately.

I add the human, personal and trust elements to introductions, which the dating sites algorithms don’t do. I meet you in person, learn about you what you are looking for, and understand the essence of you including your personality, character, values, morals, and suggest potentially suitable dates based on these and of course physical compatibility.  If you are truly relationship ready, we can work together to introduce you to the variety of quality ladies who join my community. I can vouch for you and promote your based on meeting you in person.

Everything we discuss is confidential and remains that way even if you decide not to proceed with the service. I recognise that retaining your privacy in a small community is a frustration for many which I understand and respect.

I keep your personal information private. In today’s world, there is a habit of over sharing, which is also overwhelming and can work against you if you’re single. 43% of singles google and facebook
search their dates before meeting, and I’ve known some to decline meeting someone based on how they present themselves.

So if you are ready to try a human approach to meeting someone, I am offering a Valentines Promotion to all relationship minded Gentlemen who would like to try my service which I will be sharing this week.
If you would like to learn more about applying for the special free Valentine’s membership promotion please email me at hello@selectivematches.com

Meanwhile, have a fabulous week and remember the best and most genuine connections are off line!
Regards Maria x

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