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This year has flown by, hasn’t it? It has for me, and it’s been a rollercoaster of change; challenges, new beginnings, learnings, and of course a couple of mistakes thrown into the mix. I’ve met amazing and inspiring new friends, clients and my lovely new niece!
How has your year been?
Holiday season is here now for us to enjoy, and end this year on an uplifting note. It’s the time of year to celebrate, with family and friends. Right? It should be.
It’s presented beautifully to us by the media as a worldwide celebration of warmth, connection & love.
The reality for many is that Christmas is a reminder of family friction, feelings of loneliness, isolation, open family and personal wounds, and isn’t looked forward to.
While we are told how our families, and our lives should be and how we should be feeling by the media; the actual celebrations for many can be a time where family ties are stretched to the limit. It can be stressful, with unrealistic expectations placed on everyone involved; whether it’s for the day to be perfect, to make everyone happy, or pressure to buy expensive gifts (when money is tight). This leaves many struggling to stay composed and calm, leading to some high-voltage drama being served along with the turkey.
It’s also a time of year of reflection or comparisons, between yourself and others because your life isn’t where you want it to be. Especially if you are single and are asked personal questions by family; why haven’t you met anyone yet? Is there something going on? When are you going to meet someone? Sound familiar?
Here are some simple, effective tips to help you have an uplifting Holiday Season this year especially if you are single.
- Decide that you won’t be victim of the holiday season pressure, and you’ll make the most of it in your own way.
- Keep your safe, supportive, understanding friends close and share your feelings with them. It can be just the right cure to feel positive.
- When those uncomfortable upsetting thoughts surface; let them go, and find a happy distraction; whether it’s to take a long walk, exercise, music, doing something you love creatively, making plans for the new year, doing something for someone else who will value it, or simply focusing on being grateful for the good things you see, feel and have. Be strong; don’t let the negative thoughts linger too long.
- Avoid viewing Christmas with your idealistic image of how it’s supposed to be, or comparing your life to how the media or other people tell you it’s supposed to be: it isn’t beneficial to give energy to these thoughts. For example; I should be in relationship or married, or I haven’t met my family’s expectations for the life they want for me. If you are ready and proactive about it, it will happen, as with most goals you decide on.
- Be prepared for when your family ask you those personal questions; for example why you are single? What’s going on? Or if you know old wounds will surface when you are around family. Set your boundaries in advance and think about how to politely positively deflect these questions and feelings. Don’t internalize them. They mean well, but don’t really understand your personal situation, path or current dating culture. They have their view of what they think you should be doing, but family doesn’t always know best. It’s important to detach from their unintended emotional pressure, and answer without being defensive, and with as much or little information you want to reveal. Then change the subject back to them.
- If you are feel unhappy, frustrated, lonely because you are single; avoid hibernating and don’t lose heart. Be prepared, proactive, open, selective, accept invitations to parties, and stay looking and feeling great as it will happen when you are least expecting it.
- Remember to be present, and to observe all good things around you. In the rush to be everywhere, do everything, be there for everyone, it’s sometimes taken for granted how the simplest of things are enough.
Ensure you hold yourself with high value and respect for the person you are, believe it, and stay true to that. Not everyone will understand your life choices, situation and path, and that’s ok, not everyone needs to- even family. You deserve to be happy and enjoy the Holiday season, so decide to and have some fun!